the house on a rock

 I'm in a seemingly impossible environment of change that feels suffocating. It feels freeing and it feels equally overwhelming. There's minimal in between. The stark contrast of leaving or staying both come with unbearable consequences. Ones I knew were coming but felt, and still feel, ill equipped to navigate. I'm in this in between of launching into what I believe to be where I'm supposed to be without having certainty because the consequences and fall out of that is astronomical. How can something that bring such peace internally wreak such havoc on the outside? Shouldn't the right thing come without consequences? Am I missing something here? Am I making things up and totally grasping for straws to fit a narrative that I believe in more than just about anything else? If I turn out to be correct I promise you that I will weep endlessly because I've walked through a life that's been overwhelming and confusing, and also excellent, to end up at a point of pu...

I'm real good at the Truth part of the Bible, and the grace piece for literally everyone else. I'm learning to pay attention at all the ways God communicates with me through the day. Little things that I've often written off as coincidence or happenstance may very well have just been encouragement from the Lord that what I'm doing, how I'm living, and the decisions I'm making make Him proud.  As I was roaming the aisles of HEB today waiting for my son's birthday balloons to be aired up "You Make Me Brave" by Bethel came loudly in my earbuds. I don't like to be without music. I thrive with background noise. I need the melodies to drown out the chaos sometimes, or an opportunity to kick it old school and have a dance party with myself because I'm profoundly silly.  This song is relatively new to me and the lyrics landed differently in the shampoo section.  "For You are for us You are not against us Champion of Heaven You made a way for a...

 As I seek to build a new home-not rebuild an old one- I find myself still camped out in Matthew- this time 11:25-30: At that time Jesus declared, "I thank You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children, yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in hart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.  The commentary in my Bible expands on this further, specifically in regards to verse 28: "...eternal rest for all who seek forgiveness of their sins and freedom from the crushing legalistic burden and guilt of trying to ...

 I fell in love with Jesus in the corner of a couch. In the midst of deep and profound brokenness, searching for clarity, comfort, and peace, Jesus met me all over again. Hours after laying face down on the floor crying out, telling Him everything I wanted, the plans I had and what I intended to do, and fully ready to pivot on that if He would just tell me to I felt no change of heart. I prayed for a dream, a sign, ANYTHING supernatural to come into my life to show me what to do.  I slept deeply for hours and awoke with no dreams. Carried on about my morning with a walk and excessive caffeine. Poured myself in the book of Matthew with the worship music so loud in my earbuds I could feel it in my bones. I just read. And read and read and read. Eventually coming to Matthew 7:24-29:   “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.     The rain came down, the streams rose, and th...